TSOFE Lesson 3


Okay, so let's get started and I'll start by just briefly, I'm not going to go into detail because by now you've had a chance to listen to the recording, and maybe even make a recording of that. That's okay as long as you don't share it with anyone.

It's downloadable. The last lecture that we did so I'll just go over those topics. First, I went over, that were covered in the last one. I went over the background of how I came to know this, some of the patients, actually several thousand patients, and so personal relationships as well as my reading in various areas, psychology and physiology, and as well as sexual response.

So that's the background. Then we went through some of the basic principles about how there's an art to it, that it's maybe ... It's one of those things that's simple just like playing the piano, pressing a key is a very simple thing to do or picking up a paintbrush, it looks ... or singing, they all look like simple things.

And yet, the art of it is so detailed and involved that you could study it your whole life and never really completely totally know everything there is to know about it.

And in the same way, the art of lovemaking, the mechanics of it are simple. The understanding and getting to that level to where a person really trust you enough as the male partner to let you take them to this place is an ever-changing target and there's an art to finding that place and going there.

Then we talked about some of the things, the basic principles, the requirements like the hormonal support that it may seem like you've got to, "I don't play golf, but I've heard people talk about how you think you've got it. You have a great day and go back the next day and nothing seems to work."

It's the same way that you may think like you've mastered and just absolutely completely understood your lover's body and then the next day, something is different and nothing seems to work whether it's psychological or hormonal or both.

So, but if it were easy, again, if it were easy, then it wouldn't be as rewarding and getting to this place wouldn't be as treasured I don't think. So then we started into the basic principle, the basic ingredients of the recipe.

And again, this recipe is it's the way I think was very beautifully described by Bruce Lee in his book about fighting. He was injured and dictated a book about fighting him.

He said, you learn all the techniques, he studied several different methods of fighting and from boxing to the eastern ways of fighting. He said, "You learn all the techniques, but then when you're in a fight, you forget everything. Because if you have to think about it, then there isn't time to react."

And I think in the same way, it's worth remembering that learning the mechanics of lovemaking is worth the effort. But then when you're in the moment and with your lover, sometimes it helps to forget everything and just be in the moment and at the same time that you're trying to be the most wonderful, absolutely sacred ... Developed with a sacred, powerful union that you can, at the same time, it has to be okay if things don't work.

It's okay for it not to be the most amazing lovemaking session that you've ever had. It actually can be okay for things not to work and the idea that you're following a recipe I think can lead to things not working just as much so as if you're in a fight, and you've tried to follow some set pattern.

The patterns and the moves you have to know that they change based upon how your opponent moves and reacts. The same way you learn these different methods and the different ingredients of this recipe, but how you put it together may change depending on how your lover is reacting that particular day and that is the art of it. Excuse me.

So, the first ingredient of the recipe we've talked about was her physical health. It needs to be excellent that in order for this to work, the body has to be as healthy as possible and has to be convinced through exercise and nutrition and hormonal support that it's okay to have a child even if she's postmenopausal, that sort of hormonal support can and nutritional and just general excellent health leads to excellent sex.

Now, is it possible to have wonderful sex without good health? Of course, but put setting things up so the woman is as healthy as possible. Stakes accords in your favor and if things are not working properly, there's a good chance that one of the ingredients that her health may be off.

As a child, I had this project where I read about how to breed Siamese fighting fish or these Betta fish and what you did was they were very difficult to read and somehow, I managed to pull it off, but what you did is you actually put the male in a tank with, an aquarium with the bottom painted black because that was similar to their native habitat in Africa and you put marbles because the male had to be able to pick up the eggs so gravel would make it difficult for him to find them and you only put the water of few inches deep which is again like their habitat in Africa.

And then you fed him larva, mosquito larvae and the bits of boiled egg and you made an excellent, you had him get to excellent health, or else the chances were that he may not breed and that may not be a good example, but the point is that whether we're talking about fish or people, it's difficult to have amazing so sex without having good health it's sort of the cherry on top of the cake.

Then we went over and of course, details of that are in the last talk and will be sent out in more detail in written form and then the next part was this emotional trust and we went over that part in detail.

A couple of things here, a little more depth to this part to add what we discussed last week. I'm going to post on my website the study that was done backing up this idea that Sigmund Freud had and it's almost insulting, but it was his way of describing it so I will use his terms that an orgasm by way of the clitoris was a more immature way of having an orgasm and that as a woman matured emotionally, she would start to have an orgasm that originated from the vagina.

Though someone did a study where they took women who were having vaginal orgasms already, able to have vaginal orgasms, and they took women who were not able to do that and they then analyzed them with psychological profiles and questionnaires and found that in fact, the women who were having the vaginal orgasms were dealing with life on a more mature, in a more mature way.

Well, this is sort of in my opinion, the other side of that is sort of the chicken and egg question. When it comes to you might think, "Well, if I have a woman who's more mature, perhaps you can't have this total surrender orgasm that evolves more from the vagina and tonight, we should be able to get to more of the mechanics of how it happens, but part of what you do back to the second ingredient.

Remember, first ingredient was excellent physical health. Next ingredient is emotional trust. Part of what you do in this process by following the instructions we've talked about last time is in my opinion open to woman to dropping some of the more immature psychological guards that are put up at least while she is with you.

When she goes back out into the world, she can go back to her whatever she is and you're not trying in particular to change this woman, but you're making it safe for her and in the process, you're creating a little mini-sacred universe where your sexual and your lovemaking takes place and in that spot, psychologically she reacts more like what ... More like that woman from whom can evolve this vaginal orgasm, this total surrender orgasm.

So now that's my spin on that research, but the research is there showing that it Freud was right and that women who have vaginal orgasms have a different emotional way of dealing with the world.

Now, I'll put it in a more crude fashion and again, this is ... I'm quoting one of my favorite teachers. He was a professor of my medical school and I love this man dearly because partly because he was so blunt that most people found them difficult to love, and I found his bluntness and frankness refreshing.

He was from The Bronx and a very brilliant man, psychiatrist MD, who had other studies and background that gave him even more depth, but he had an arm that had not developed properly as a child and I think it was one of those things were out of that and that difference that he had to deal with over his life probably made him in some way more insightful, or at least as insightful as anyone I've ever met.

And he said to me, "Charles, a woman will not ..." And I'm using his Bronx terminology. So excuse my French, but he says, "A woman will not have good sex until she allows herself to be fucked."

And so that was his New Yorker way of saying I think that woman has to be able to surrender in order to have a good orgasm and then we're back to the chicken egg rule she has to surrender to have a good total surrender orgasm, then she's already done it before you allow it.

Well, you really are facilitating her getting to the place where psychologically, she's ready to let go and then you help her emotionally and physically actually accomplish that purpose.

More details of that emotional trust issue is on the last recording. I think let's get now to more the physical part of it. Now, some of this is basic and once you have this woman and again, I'm breaking it down in steps which is like, "If you study martial arts, you might have one movement that you study for years and another movement that you study for years."

And there might be four or five movements that you studied for years which and you're actually in combat and practicing ... after practicing each movement over and over again, you might do all of them back to back and it happens in just a few seconds.

The same way with this, I'm tearing this process apart, but it is possible to have all of this come together after just knowing a woman for a few hours. If she's already healthy, if she already ... If you are able to do some of the techniques we talked about, and make it, you're not tricking her, it has to be sincere, but if it really is safe for her to be with you, and then you are able to communicate that to her because it's true.

Then you've accomplished the first two parts of the ingredients and it can be done in a few moments or there can be people who live with each other for 20 years and never accomplish it.

But I think for the most part, it's one of those examples of reasons why people who have been together for a while and are committed to each other can often have sex that is much better than the person that's hopping from person-to-person because when you have the time and commitment and ability to study each other, it's more likely that you're able to come to these places.

All right, so back to the physical part of it. The next part is physical relaxation itself and it seems obvious, but I don't want to not include it. I want to make sure I include it in the recipe even though it's obvious, but the woman needs to be relaxed.

So she can trust you, but if you're in a place that's stressful, or a situation that's stressful, it's still not going to be the spot for if you're doing the quickie in a semi-private place or semi public place, she's not going to be relaxed.

So in the simple things you already know, but you didn't ask me to tell you things that music can be really relaxing, but this part you may not realize there's a difference in how women react to different drugs and people think, "Well, I want to relax her, so I gave her alcohol."

It can be and my experience has been that women who drink even any amount of alcohol even though it helps her relax, it can actually hinder her ability to reach that total surrender orgasm.

So I have found that women have a much more powerful orgasms, and they're more likely to read this total collapse, total surrender orgasm if they're cold sober. Now this is a challenge because it means that you're going to have to give her or you don't have to, you facilitate the process.

Of course, she has to be cooperating and in the end, it's all taking place in her mind between her ears. This is all mind so far. So the mind really is the most powerful sexual organ that anybody has.

So she has to be willing to go there, but alcohol can actually impede the ability for her to reach an orgasm and make it more difficult for her to reach the total surrender orgasm.

The women I have been with that come to this place and the women that I've talked to come to this place. They actually accomplish it better sober, but they can get there if they've been drinking.

It's fairly well known that alcohol makes a woman because it lowers inhibitions more easily aroused because she's able to be relaxed, but can make it more difficult for her to reach orgasm and that's good if you want to have a prolonged lovemaking session and with a woman who's prone to come to orgasm quickly and then lose interest which can happen and be fairly common.

But if it's a woman who has difficulty reaching orgasm, and especially this total surrender orgasm. In the beginning, I would practice with her sober as a practice. It's probably not the best word, but I would, when you come together for this, and as much as possible, I will try to go no alcohol or at most, one drink, never more than two drinks.

Most women are going to be too ... Not as responsive. On the other hand, marijuana has been and I'm not proposing illegal substances, but and I'm not a big fan of marijuana. I won't tell you all the reasons why, but I've had friends who I think it's derailed their life because of this syndrome where people get where they don't really care about much when they smoke it regularly.

But it does seem to make it easier. It lowers inhibitions, but has the other effect. It seems to make it easier for women to reach orgasm. I'll just tell you personally. I just don't like the hassle of anything that's illegal being around me because I don't want to worry about that and so I don't use it.

But that's what's reported to me both by patients and by what I read in the medical literature. So if your ethics or your situation wherever you live, makes it where that you can use marijuana, that is the preferred drug to help her reach this total surrender orgasm.

Cocaine I don't like because the women that I've known that have used it when they're off of it, I think it just sort of burns out their serotonin synapses and dopamine synapses and it gets to where it's more difficult for them to have an orgasm at all and you can eventually get them back to that place but it gets to where that sort of ... That is their sex is the cocaine and the sex is just sort of on the side garnish for many women who are using the cocaine.

And again, I've seen it destroy so many lives. Being an ER doctor, I've seen too many women brought to the emergency room who were a few weeks ago or stay at home mothers and now they've been dumped after a week at the crack house where they just sort of lose it.

So I don't want to start sounding like I'm preaching about drugs, but cocaine and ecstasy really bother me and I won't belabor that point. Now oxytocin is legal and it does help tremendously.

Oxytocin, O-X-Y-T-O-C-I-N helps tremendously with the orgasmic process. It does not give a souped up feeling like cocaine does. It gives more of a subtle feeling, but just briefly what oxytocin is, oxytocin is the hormone, it's a small protein hormone that's secreted by the pituitary.

S because it's a protein like insulin, you can't take it by mouth as to these little nasal spray, or IV and you're not going to use an IV in your bedroom. So nasal spray is what you go for, but and insulin by the way comes as a nasal spray as well, but it's just never caught on in popularity, but it can be absorbed from the nasal mucosa.

So oxytocin in the same way can be absorbed from the nasal mucosa and it is the hormone that's secreted by the pituitary gland. It tells the rest at the end of pregnancy to let down the breast milk.

Prolactin causes breast milk production, but oxytocin causes it to be let down, but get a load what else it does. It causes a mild euphoria which is good, and it causes a contraction of the uterus.

It helps because remember, the uterus is greatly expanded because it's been carrying a child in it and when the child is born, you want the uterus to contract, not only so it will come back to its normal size, but because that helps stop the bleeding.

So if a woman's hemorrhaging a lot after childbirth, one of the things you do to help stop the bleeding is give her IV oxytocin. The other thing it does is it has this emotional response where you bond with what you're looking at.

So what a wonderful hormone to use with sex. You have emotional bonding, euphoria and uterine contraction. Wonderful things to have when you're having sex. Now, it's been studied that some people if they're ... Excuse me, everybody when they have a massage or they have an orgasm, or they're just touched in a pleasant way, they release small amounts of oxytocin.

But some people release more than others. There are theories that perhaps those who have difficulty bonding emotionally with other people perhaps are mildly deficient in oxytocin and using it as a supplement on a daily basis would help their feelings of romance and love.

I don't know if that's true or not, but I know my personal experience with my patients, their experience with and by what I read in the medical literature, oxytocin does help with the intensity of orgasm.

So you get a nasal spray and again, I'll post the doses and everything in the materials that have come to you printed. You'll have to get it compounded by a compounding pharmacy and find a physician who's willing to prescribe it and I'll in the pre-materials give you some ways to look for physicians who do that, but that is a drug that I highly recommend.

Now, so when it comes to relaxation, we've talked and you would use that about 30 minutes prior anywhere from 30 minutes to immediately prior to sexual activity to give it time to start working.

Now, I'll use it sometimes just because for the most part I'm celibate these days and it gives you that feeling that you have after a massage or a good orgasm without the trouble of having to go find a partner or get a massage.

So it's kind of cheating I guess, but I will do that sometimes. Just to have the mild ... It's not a drunk sort of tipsy feeling like if you drink alcohol, it's more of that mild sense of well being you get after a good orgasm or a massage or meditation.

So it's not a bad thing to keep around in your refrigerator anyway. So we talked about there's physical relaxation, there's music, there's ... Those are all the prescription drugs we'll talk about.

Well, I should mention Valium and Xanax, those benzodiazepines. They're similar to alcohol and that too much is going to make it more difficult for to have an orgasm, but if she's on a steady dose, that just keeps her there, then I wouldn't be trying to stop any of it, but I wouldn't recommend using it as a way to help women have a better orgasm.

And then of the antidepressants, the only one that I think does not interfere with the sexual process and probably helps it in my opinion is Wellbutrin. Some of the others can blunt the sexual response, and I'm not as fond of them.

Again, don't stop any antidepressants without talking to your physician, but my preference is Wellbutrin. And then there's just massage and touching. I think people have to be touched, we just need to be touched.

I even think children, little boys will fight each other because they would rather be punched in the nose and not be touched and I have three sons. So I've studied it, and whatever that's worth as a father and I don't ... I make sure that there's no weirdness about any of their memories so I've only given a little back the neck massage or something.

And but I'll do make it a point to touch my sons. So and I think it calms them down and they're less violent, men are violent, even little boys, that's just how we're built. We have 10 times as much testosterone as women and I think we will go fight each other just to be touched if we're not touched in a pleasant way.

Back to your lover, I think touching her during the day and these are basic things that you know already, but when it comes to lovemaking, just a simple touch and one of the most powerful things you do that I've never read in a book, but I think it works beautifully well is to just have your lover and most women are lighter than their man physically, and if you want to try something very powerful in addition to all, there's lots of massage books out there and I recommend that you become good at massage that you study the books, that you learn techniques and you make it part of your lovemaking that you know how to touch people.

You should have really good basic massage books and read them and, but sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is just put your hand on someone, just to lay your hands on somebody without any movement at all, no special techniques, nothing.

And even more powerful I think is to let your woman actually fully lie down on top of your body just completely sort of use you like a bed and that's an odd sort of thing to picture. But if you're flying flat on the bed, on your stomach and your woman lies on you face down with her breasts against your back, her arms against your arms, your legs against your legs, and you just lie assuming that she's not so heavy that it would be uncomfortable for you.

You will be amazed at how powerful that is with her body being totally touched by your body. I've never seen that described in the book and again, I'm telling you things I've never shared with anybody, but that I've seen, that one thing and just let her lie there for a while.

I've seen open up women emotionally in ways that nothing else has when she's just allowed to lie there comfortably prone against your supine ... No, sorry, against your prone body. Just how you remember this, if you're supine, your spine is against the back, if you're prone, you're falling forward prone.

So you're both prone and she's lying on your back, that is an amazing way for her to be touched. So we've talked about massage, we've talked about drugs, we've talked about music. I think that pretty much covers physical relaxation, but that's part of the process and again, that can happen fairly quickly or it can be that depending on what's going on with the woman emotionally, it might take her all day or she might just be unable to relax.

Of course, you'd have to have her in a place again, where she's able to relax you physically wall things off to where she knows she won't be interrupted. It's safe for her emotionally as far as ethics go, you know you're not expecting her husband to come home because you're in the wrong house. It has to be emotionally safe for her and then all these things happen.

All right. The next part, we talked about massage, but I'm going to tell you here about again, after having where this is coming from, this is from many books, actually personally knowing as patients, many massage therapist, and personally, having lovers with a plural that have been massage therapists, and even one woman who wrote and illustrated the first massage book published in America and is a personal friend of mine Anne Kent Rush who wrote a massage or helped produce a massage put back in the '70s and talking with her.

So these, what I'm about to tell you now is a particular way to actually massage the vagina itself. That will do some amazing things that you still haven't even taken your penis out at this point.

I mean, you haven't used it. You're not having penis and vagina sex yet. We're just talking about vaginal massage here. So you've touched her, you've had music, you've got her in place, in a safe place, you've relaxed her emotionally and she's a healthy woman.

So you've done all the steps. Now you start to actually touch her vagina with your hand and believe me, your hand can do things that your penis cannot. You have 10 fingers that go, that range in size from very small to bigger than anybody's penis, depending on how many fingers you want to use, all the way up to your fist.

So and there's a place for that, but not here, that's very rarely done I think in most women, that's not what they want and it's not what we're going to do here to get a total stringent massage ... I mean, total surrender orgasm.

The point is with two hands and 10 fingers, you can do some amazing things that can't be done with the penis. Now there's just going to be a time here where we're going to use your penis, but I want you to know some things to do with your hands that you may not know.

First of all, the nerves that go to ... I noticed this in medical school, I remember the first time I saw a dermatome chart of the body, dermatomes are when the nerves come out of the spine, they go to sections.

So let's say you have all these cervical disc and you have the thoracic column and the sacral part of the spinal column, in between each vertebrae, nerves come out on each side and then those nerves go to particular sections of the body.

Well, let's say you're looking at the second, between the second and the third thoracic backbone, and when that comes out, it's going to particular section and when you draw that out, it makes a strike.

So for instance, between the five and the six on the cervical spine, it goes to the foam in the first finger, and then a particular part of the arm and then the next goes to the next part, and so you have the stripes.

Well, the stripes that go to the inner thigh and part of the foot are also the part of the nerves that go to the genitalia. So when you touch a woman's inner thigh, you're actually stimulating the same nerves that go to her vagina.

So when you're massaging or kissing or touching the inside of her thigh, as far as the brain knows, she might as well be touching her vagina. The same part of the brain is being stimulated because of the crossover.

So I remember seeing this chart when I first learned about the dermatomes and I thought, "Well, that's pretty powerful knowledge. I never read that in a book." And what I'm telling you now, I've never read in a book. I'm just telling you that they go to the same place, vaginal nerves and those inner thigh nerves and my experience has been that that is true.

When you touch that area and massage that area, you're going to get the same sort of sexual response as if you're touching your vagina and then so you start there and then you go to the inner ... From the inner thigh, to the labia and now, here is and with the labia, of course, you want to crush you want to use some sort of lubricant and preferably water soluble for the inside of the vagina, but I like either ... I really like olive oil the best or almond oil for the skin and the outside of the vagina because it's natural and you can ... To me, it tastes better than K-Y Jelly or something.

I love olive oil, what else can you put on your hair and have sex with and treat your skin with and cook your eggs with and put it on your salad? I just think you should have it with you all the time and it's just an amazing thing.

If it's good enough for King David, it's good enough for me and so I love olive oil much better than most of the other massage oils because you can eat it and we want to have your mouth involved here pretty soon.

So you can put that and use your fingers to actually sort of it's like you're pulling and you're stroking down and pulling on the labia at the same time as sort of pulling it out. It's very good to a woman, but here's the ... What I think is probably the most universally drive a woman crazy thing that you can do with your hand.

And I wish I could remember which book I read this in, but I can't. I didn't invent this, but it's thing that I've seen drive women the craziest when you're using your hand. If you put your finger inside of her vagina and she's on her back, and six o'clock is down towards her anus, towards the bed and moon is towards the ceiling which is where her clitoris is on the upper side and she's lying on her back.

If you put your finger in her vagina and you press down towards the six and then you go back and forth sort of like you're sweeping out the bottom part of her vagina, pressing down, you're going to have to watch her face and you're listening to her like with your Stradivarius if you're playing a violin, and you're listening and you're watching, but you go back and forth from about four o'clock to seven or eight o'clock, like that, back and forth.

And then you swap over and you go from about seven o'clock to 11 o'clock or 10 o'clock back and forth that way, to the left side and then you go to the right side, and you go from about one or two o'clock down to about five or six o'clock.

Now, here is the trick. Maybe that's not a good word, but here's the thing to watch for. I haven't touched noon o'clock yet. That is where, and this is key and I'm going to put, this will be in your printed materials.

This has been proven. There has been debate about whether there's a true structure that's analogous to the male prostate. There is and I'm going to send you the research for that. They actually did the ultrasound, and they showed it.

They showed the opening coming from the vagina into the urethra or from ... Excuse me, not the vagina. Yeah, it comes from the urethra into the vagina. So because there's a tissue there, I have to get that straight. Between the vagina and the urethra.

Okay. Urethra is coming out just above 12 o'clock. Okay? So that's where the opening where urine comes out. Right between the clitoris and the vagina, there's a little opening, all right? Now, between the wall, the top walls of the vagina, listen very carefully to this because this is key.

At the very top wall of the vagina, at noon o'clock and she's on her back. If you could go just on the other side of that skin, that's where the female prostate is around where her G-spot is, right?

And when it extends, not only straight back, but it extends sort of like a W. If you put your finger in her vagina and you spread or put two fingers in and you spread it apart, where the top part of the vagina sort of fell between your fingers, you picture like you're making the peace sign and you put two fingers in her vagina and you make the peace signs, you can have your middle finger and your second finger.

And well, the G-spot is going to be between your fingers, but your fingers will be on tissue that's analogous to the clitoris that's actually up on the other side of the vagina.

And between your fingers will be what's analogous to if you went through the skin up towards the ceiling, and also towards your urethra. Between your fingers is what's analogous to the male prostate and when she ejaculates, that's where people think the fluid is coming from and it's been analyzed and found to be chemically very similar to what comes out of the male prostate.

Now again, I'll send you that research where you can see it for yourself. This is not speculation anymore, it's there. Now, do some women have more tissue than others? I'm sure of it.

I mean, there's some men who only have one testicle because the other develop or doesn't come down. So I'm sure there are women that have more tissue there than others. Is the tissue, does it change with hormonal changes? Absolutely. Why wouldn't it? Just like a man's prostate is going to be healthier, bigger, smaller, healthier, juicier, depending upon his hormonal status.

So again, back to her needing to be healthy, but back to this physical process itself, I want you to know that exactly where this is, and what you're doing. As you're stimulating and here's the key, this is the part that I've never read in the book.

This is one of the parts of this formula that I've had to figure out myself. If you avoid, the noon o'clock, if you do this process with this woman, and you stay towards the opening where these feelings are, and you're not trying to see how deep you can go into her.

A full length of your fingers plenty, you're not trying to get way up in there and even, it may not even take all of your fingers, you might want to start off with half a finger to tease her more, but as you do this, top of her job, the noon o'clock will start to come down, and when it's happening is it's swelling with that fluid, and you'll feel it come down and then it will get to the process to where it comes down so far and her vagina starts to shorten, and that roof starts to come down so far, her vagina gets much, much smaller than when you started.

And you're going to be tempted at this point to stop and put your penis inside of her because this is going to be getting smaller. I mean women that I've made love with who have in the beginning more slack vaginas because they've had children, and they're not, they're just not teenagers anymore.

But after doing this process, they start to get a vagina like a little 13 year old or something. It's pretty fascinating what happens, but it doesn't happen in my experience, if you're giving as much tension to the noon o'clock as you are to the three, six and nine o'clock.

Now, here's the thing that will just make her eyes roll back in her head without exception. At least the women I've been with is if you're doing this process and then every now and then just start at the three o'clock and go all the way around to six o'clock and nine o'clock and go up and when you get to 12 o'clock, lighter, much lighter.

But you have, I mean, how are you going to find out what's coming down if you're not occasionally feeling it, but you don't massage it as heavily or as long, you just touch it, you're just sort of checking the fruit to see if it's ripe yet and it comes down and it comes down and it comes down.

And if you try to pick it before it's ripe, she won't, in my experience, it's going to be much more difficult for her to ejaculate, all right? So you do this process. Now, let's come back ... Well, I'm going to get what you do with your penis, but let's talk about a couple other things that you can do with your hand.

While you're doing this, you can stop and if you take another little maneuver that I think women really like is you take the second and third so not your thumb, but your pointer finger and your middle finger, and you bend it at the knuckle so that it looks like ... Let's see.

The knuckle between your hand and your finger is not bent, but the next knuckle is so that you have this flat place between and I'll draw a diagram in your materials, but there's a flat place so that the knuckle, the first and ... Let's see.

The knuckle in the middle of your finger and the knuckle at the end of your finger or both bent and you put that flat place on both sides of her clitoris.

And then if you go back and forth with your fingers, flexing and extending your fingers towards your palm and then towards the back of your hand, you'll see that you're rubbing her clitoris on both sides with the sides of your fingers.

That feels and you can vary the pressure, but you're sort of grabbing and pinching her clitoris up with your fingers and rubbing both sides of it. Now, your thumb is there and you can take that and rub the end of her clitoris.

Think of it like a tiny little penis and when you're rubbing on the sides with the sides of your fingers, you're rubbing the sides of a little tiny penis and then when you take your thumb and this will be very lubricated, you can experiment with different types of pressure and see what feels good to her.

But some women can ejaculate or have a good orgasm with just that. It's also a good thing to do when you're having sex with her when your penis is inside of her. That's a very strong way to stimulate her clitoris.

Most women can't take it for long so you go for a short time and you stop and go for a short time and stop and you can alternate that between that little maneuver I told you where you go to three o'clock, six o'clock and nine o'clock.

Now, what do you do with the penis? At this point, you do not let her have the full length of your penis. I don't care if you're an inch long or you're 12 inches long, just give her just enough to fill the end of your penis inside the introitus or the opening of her vagina.

Because again, you want that vagina to be hungry, you want it to be wanting more and you want that fruit to the ripening on the top, that gland to be filling with fluid and she starts to feel that fluid swelling in that part of her vagina swelling to the point to where she is just aching to have an orgasm.

Now yeah, you stimulate the clitoris, but that maneuver that you're doing with your hand and by particularly having, using your penis to only stimulate the opening. I mean, the first inch or so, no more, literally no more than an inch or so into the vagina is all you give her.

Now, here's where it helps to have some of my techniques about being able to have sex for as long as you want because you're not going to let her have your own penis. You actually have your penis inside her for quite a time, off and on, alternating that.

Now, when you put your hand in there, also alternate between doing the little strokes on the side, three, six and nine o'clock and also taking, making a peace sign and stroking on each side of that gland, pressing up and stroking on each side of the gland and as it swells, you'll know that it's getting close to being ripe.

I mean, it almost feels like it's coming down to the middle or almost touching the other, the bottom wall of the vagina. So 12 o'clock almost comes down and touches six o'clock, but even with your hand in there because it's so swollen.

Okay, let's see how we are with time. We're good. About 10 more minutes. Let's go ahead and plunge into what you do with your tongue. Let's get started with that and then I think we'll probably do the next call, we'll go into more about how to pick the fruit.

So right now, you're using this processes to make the fruit swell. Now, what do you do with your tongue? Tongue is and it's also an amazing thing that can do things that your fingers cannot do and I'm going to tell you some basic strokes., but I'm going to tell you the thing that I think is the most powerful universal thing to make to help you pick the fruit that you save towards the end.

I mean, if you're ... Understand, this call is not ... This course is not for people that are still trying to figure out how to get the first space. This is not a teenager sort of class and you guys or probably many of you are expert in oral sex already.

But I've had many lovers who told me they did not like oral sex or would not even allow their lover to have oral sex with them or said were married for many years prior to meeting me and getting a divorce and then they met me and they told me they never let their husband have oral sex with them.

And then I'll have sex with them and they think it's the most wonderful thing that's ever happened. So if your lover is not open to it for whatever reason, it might be that by re-approaching her, talk about, she'll be more open to it and you guys will discover that there's ... How powerful this can be.

It's a big trick I think as well. So there are several things about oral sex are important. One is, she has to feel like you actually like it and if you don't, then I guess you just leave this part off, it's possible to pull this off without oral sex, but I hope to do that, you wouldn't want to taste your lover.

And it has to be true about you that it really has to be almost the thing that you'd rather have in your mouth more than anything else is the nectar that comes from her body. This is the juice that tells you that she wants you, that she's in love with you, that she desires you, that she's open to you.

What more wonderful thing could you put in your mouth? So she has to feel that about you and then she wants to give it to you. If it's something that's sort of a blah, do you really ... What if you cooked a wonderful meal for someone and they just sort of, "Well, I could take it or leave it."

But if they think is the most wonderful thing they put in their mouth, then you want to cook it for them again, or you want to give them a second helping. So if a woman I found is that and you can't fake her with this. It has to be true that this is the thing, this is your woman that you love and there is nothing on the planet that you would rather have in her your mouth than her vagina and what comes out of it.

You want her vagina, you want to taste it more than you want your favorite meal, whatever that is. Even more than you want her kiss, it has to be the thing that you want to taste.

Now, she'll kiss her mother, but nobody tastes her juices like this except the person that she wants to surrender to and that I think is part of the reason that women have trouble allowing their lovers to have oral sex with them is that they're not yet trusting enough to be completely open and let them have this.

They don't want them to have it. Maybe I'm wrong about that. But I know that having that attitude opens her up to this idea. Now, once she's opened up to the idea, this is better than the most expensive wine you could buy anywhere.

This is your lover's nectar. There is nothing else on the planet. There's nothing else. So if someone gave you a thousand dollar bottle of wine, would you just pop the top and just guzzle it down? No, you would smell the cork.

You would throw it around your glass. I don't drink wine, I don't know everything you do, but you fiddle with it for a while, and you enjoy it before you ever even put it in your mouth and that's where it has to be when you have oral sex.

It has to be like this is the most amazing thing because it's better than any glass of wine. And so you approach her in that way and then it's not I will lean her up and hurting her.

So appreciate the way she looks, you appreciate the texture, you appreciate the smells, you ... And then you've been touching her so she's already open to you and then you ... The first approach is just a touch, just the introduction of your tongue to her vagina, and your hands are there and you've already been touching her.

So again, I don't want to belabor all the mechanics of how to have oral sex because you guys already know a lot of this. If you want some more reading particularly on just this, I can point you to some other materials in the written part, but the attitude in my opinion is much more important than the mechanics when it comes to oral sex.

You have to tell her in words, you have to tell her actions that this is what you want and then you approach it very lightly with the tongue up and back and forth, up and down.

The vulva going from front to back, front to back and then and you can alternate that with the things that I've told you about using your hands. Now, there's so many things you can do with your hands that we haven't talked about and with your tongue that we're not going to talk about, but the other thing, but I'm giving you the things that I have found to be the most powerful with the most women.

The other thing is then taking your ... While you're touching her and doing the six and the three and the nine and while you're touching her, you take your mouth and you kiss her thigh from knee.

Sometimes you'll get more reaction, sexual reaction up around the knee or down around the knee than you do up around her vagina, but all the way from vagina to knee. Kissing, niggling, licking, and sometimes the woman may be so aroused, you literally almost have to restrain her and that's okay.

If she trusts you, she's going to let you do that. So that she will be still while you do it, but maybe you don't restrain her the first time out if it's not something you're used to doing with her, but she is going to be sort of half ticklish, half screaming in pleasure, some women because the inside of the thigh is so sensitive.

And it may be that you just have to take your hands and hold her knees apart and of course, that's something that women don't like to do is pull their legs apart, but if she's having pleasure, and again, you are erect, you're a male, you're kicking the world's ass, excusing my French and now you're devouring your lover.

So there has to be some strength about you and occasionally, you do have to manhandle her. The word expression is chosen exactly for what it says. You're a man handling her, you're handling her like a man by just grabbing her and holding your legs apart and if she gets too ticklish on the thigh.

Well, okay, so if you're a little too forceful and she lets you know that this is not pleasurable anymore, we learn something from it. It's like dribbling the basketball, it goes out of lane. You pick up where you left off, you throw the ball back inbound and you start playing again.

But you learn something from it and you take note at what point and what pressure and you're learning about your lover. So up and down the thigh with the tongue at the same time, and you might stop, you might alternate. I think it works better in the beginning if you use your hand some and then the tongue, your hand and then your tongue.

You don't let her have the pleasure of both at the same time in the beginning. Then you take the tongue and you could you start by wide circles around the clitoris. And again, I don't want to be offending people that already know oral sex, but wide circles around the clitoris and do you know if your lover prefers clockwise to counterclockwise? Because she will like one or the other the best.

And you may have adhere to do this. Now, let me stop and tell you another just sort of a sideline and then I think we're going to stop for the night. Tell your lover, this is a wonderful way to discover things about your lover.

You tell her that we're not going to have sex tonight. I don't care if you have an orgasm or not. And I love doing this when I have a new lover because women like it and it's fun for me and when I'm done, most of the time, after one session of this, I will know more about the woman's body than her previous lover of 20 years new.

I'll say this is the deal. Tonight or tomorrow night, you set up a date. You say, "Tonight, I want to do something special. It's not going to be about even having fun or pleasure or having orgasm. It's just about me learning about your body.

And it's going to be like practicing scales for the music. We're just going to do it. We're going to learn about it and then when I do have sex with you, this is not even having sex. It's just school. This is me going to school about you.

And tonight, you're going after dinner, we're just going to go into the bedroom and get comfortable and you're going to tell me what feels good and what does not feel good and what feels better, and what feels not as good."

So a lot of it is going to feel wonderful, but it's going to be what feels the most wonderful. So you go to the bedroom, and you touch her this way and you touch her that way. And you say women, most women, even the women that I've met that have been ... Lovers that are used to be porn stars, and some that are very ... Have been very promiscuous or have been all sorts of women and even those women are often have difficulty telling you what they want.

It's the hardest thing and they'll say, "Even when I was back selling it, I would never kiss a man or I didn't want to talk to me. they could have sex with me, he could put his penis inside of me, but I wouldn't want to kiss him." Or, "I would want to talk to him."

I mean, if you can ... If a woman is open to you verbally, if she opens her mind to you, she's giving you something more private than if she's necking with you.

The mind is the most private part. So when you go to her, you're basically asking permission to know her thoughts and she's giving you her most sacred part, but you're not even calling it sex, you're just calling it going to school and so it relaxes her a bit, there's no pressure on her to perform. It's just about her educating.

So you say, you put your mouth on her vagina, and you do large circles clockwise around her clitoris and then you do counterclockwise, and you ask her, "Which feels better? A or B?" And it's almost sort of funny because it's almost like she's at school, but really, you're the student and say, "Which feels better? A or B?"

And she'll say, she'll have a preference and try to make sure you do it exactly the same amount of pressure in each direction and then you ask her, she'll tell you.

Then you say, then you check your tongue and you do small circles on the clitoris and a lot of times, they'll prefer counterclockwise one way on the large circles and clockwise the other way. It may not even be the same direction, but you will know and you can test her a few days from then and it will be, it will still be the same.

She got a way that she likes it and then you can take your tongue and flick, sort of use the side of your tongue looking up and down and letting the side of your tongue hit the right side of her clitoris and then go to the other side and flick and hit the left side of her clitoris and asks, "Do you like A or B the best?"

And sometimes she'll say, "I don't even like B." But usually she'll say, "Oh, I like A the best." And sometimes it won't matter, but almost invariably, there will be a preference.

So you do that with her and then here's the other thing to test her with is take your mouth and pull ... Now, this is the thing that ... This one little maneuver I'm about to teach you is the thing that will help you in my opinion, one of the most powerful things you can do to help pick the fruit when it's ripe.

You pull her clitoris up into your mouth and you press the bottom teeth on the bottom side of her clitoris. So remember, she's on her back, supine, and the hood of the clitoris is on the top. If we're just talking about her clitoris, it's at the 12 o'clock position and your teeth are at six o'clock on the clitoris and now you take your tongue and you put the bottom of your tongue, not the top.

You take the bottom of your tongue smoother than the top and you press down and you go from side to side across the clitoris is with your teeth on the bottom side of her clitoris.

I do not know what it is about that, but doing that combined with everything else I'm going to tell you about picking the fruit from the next call, I've had, that's part of the recipe, that maneuver I have had women tell me many times that that was the best sex they ever had in their life.

They don't even know how they're going to ever have sex with anybody else. Now, not just that one thing, but that one thing, your penis ... That one thing combined with the rest of what I'm going to teach you about picking the fruit, but your penis can't do that.

If you're, I don't care if your penis is 12 inches long, you can't do that and with just the penis and grinding your pelvis into her clitoris is not going to have the effect of that and what we've done so far is we've allowed, we've given her a wonderful stimulus and that fruit has grown and grown and grown and ripened and ripened and ripened and at this point, she is begging you to pick it.

Now, you can alternate back and forth. You might have your penis, remember only about an inch and you go in and out a little bit. I mean, you actually come out some and you go back in about an inch.

Basically, you put the head of your penis in, so maybe it's a little more than the inch, but part of the head of the penis, maybe the whole head, but you don't give her the shaft of your penis.

You're just teasing the outside because if you go all the way in, you're going to press against that fruit and it's not going to swell as much. So you keep, you can do that, alternating with your mouth, alternating with your hands and you're doing all this after you've gone to school two or three times hopefully, and you know more about this woman's vagina than she knows and I frequently want to.

I usually don't tell the woman what I've learned and while about ... I want to write all this down for her, I want to be the master of her body, I want to own her body because I love her enough to die for her.

I want to own it because she wants to be owned. She wants to be possessed by someone strong enough to take care of her. So and I want to be strong enough and smart enough and sensitive enough and loving enough to take possession of her and part of taking possession of her means knowing more about her body than she does.

So I'm not going to do all these things and then write a report and turn it into her or even tell her what I'm learning, but you better believe I'm remembering it, I'm remembering every detail about what makes her vagina happy.

Okay, that's an hour of me talking. So I'm going to stop there and there will be another class in the next day or two and there'll be more materials coming out and this will be recorded so that if you want to listen to it again and for those that live in other parts of the world because we have people in this class all the way from the US to Australia to Mexico and Europe, and so on I know some people who are able to hear this and will have to listen later.

But I sure hope that's been helpful to you and again, I'm honored. This is such a sacred topic. This is absolutely so sacred, but I hesitated to talk about it, or somehow making it seem common and not treating it in a sacred manner that it should be and so I hope that I'm not coming across as doing it in a trite way or some way that makes it seem too mechanical or anything other than what it is, it's just a sacred process.

But I guess the great teachers and prophets have given people mechanical ways to pray everything from the rosary to the Lord's Prayer to mantras and such, and so if I'm giving you something mechanical, know that it's just a way to get you to something very magical that I'm very grateful that you're listening and I hope you're getting something out of this.

So I guess with that, I'll stop and see if anybody has any questions and then that will be it. So I'm going to take the thing off mute and give you all the chance to ask any questions you want to ask me.

You probably have questions for me. Okay, well, thank you again and I'll be sending out an email about the next call.

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